Mickey Mouse And The Last Resort

One of my favorite comic related columns has to be Brian Cronin's Comic Book Urban Legends Revealed. This week, he shows a series of Mickey Mouse comic strips concerned entirely with Mickey trying and hilariously failing at killing himself. Why that gosh darn mouse messes everything up from shooting himself in the face, jumping off a bridge, drowning in a lake, suffocating from gas, or hanging from a tree. The entire story arc can be read here, courtesy of Barnacle Press.

What's surprising is that although most of the Mickey Mouse comic strips were done by Floyd Gottfredson, it was Walt Disney himself that came up with the idea of Mickey attempting suicide. While it might seem a little twisted for Walt Disney's sense of humor, keep in mind that the uncut version of "Steamboat Willie" had Mickey chucking some piglets away from a mother pig so he can play music with her teats. So now you know why Mickey Mouse is such a hardcore character in the "Kingdom Hearts" series.

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Kingdom Hearts To Add "Israeli Agent" Character.

Hamas had a tv show for kids and its main character was a knock off of Mickey Mouse. Disney got mad that in essence Mickey was promoting terrorism instead of capitalism. To solve this dilemma, Hamas just killed off their mouse in a wonderful way. They blamed the Israelis, oh yeah. The BBC says:

The Hamas-affiliated al-Aqsa channel aired the last episode on Friday, showing the character, Farfur, being beaten to death by an "Israeli agent".
"Farfur was martyred defending his land," said the show's presenter Saraa.

Now that's a way to go down bitching. In the US, characters get blown up in limos, fall down an elevator shaft, oh just get canceled. In Palestine, you blame someone directly and even though it's said that the Jewish run Hollywood, I don't think Hamas knew that. It would have been a lot better if it were an Israeli agent with Donald Duck, Goofy, and the real Mickey Mouse to open up a can of whoopass on fake Mickey. Goofy could loose his huge floppy shoe up the Hamas mouse's ass and then they could spin the fake mouse like a dreidel. It would have been great entertainment, even Pay-Per-View material. To commemorate this event, I believe that it's only fair that the Israeli agent gets to be a character in the next Kingdom Hearts game, or has a Pixar movie about him. Because even though they used the Israelis as a scapegoat, the Israelis were protecting capitalism and the American way of copyright infringement.

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