Heath Ledger Set to Be Ugliest Joker Ever

The character of Joker from the Batman comics has never exactly been much of a looker, but in the upcoming film The Dark Knight, he will apparently look like someone attacked his face with some sort of acid lipstick. Warner Bros. have released a picture of Heath Ledger (normally a fairly attractive man), in makeup for The Dark Knight, and to say that he looks “unsettling” would be putting in mildly.

Christian Bale (in case you’ve been living under a rock, he’s the guy who’s playing Batman), still manages to find the hots for Ledger, even when he’s in this crazy get-up. "He is a great choice for it. I like it, personally," said Bale in a recent interview.

Damn you, Heath Ledger. Even when you’re made up to look as ugly as possible, you’re still able to attract women, men, and small house-pets with your charm. My envy knows no bounds.

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Germany Says They Won’t Let Tom Cruise Kill Hitler

Once upon a time, there was a German Colonel named Claus von Stauffenberg, who tried to kill Hitler with a suitcase bomb. Well, he failed, and got shot. When Hollywood producers heard about this, they instantly sprang to make a movie about it (surprise). Somewhere along the line, someone apparently went: “Hey, you know who can play a German really well? Tom Cruise!” Well, you’d think that that guy would be instantly fired, but instead, everyone went: “Brilliant!” and they went out and got Tom Cruise.

They got everything set up to film in Germany, in the spots where everything had historically occurred, but then the German government popped in to say a few words. Specifically, these words were: “Knock that shit off” (but in German, so “Schlagen Sie diese Scheiße ab”). The German government banned any production of the film from taking place on military sites.

The best part was their reasoning for the ban. They stated that it was because Tom Cruise was a Scientologist. The German Government has stated that “scientology is a cult that masquerades as a religion for the purposes of making money.” Which it is, I suppose. I’m just surprised that they’d come right out and say it, that’s all.

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