Seriously, there's no telling if footage of the Futurama panel at San Diego Comic Con will be taken down. But aside from news about its imminent return, the cast did a table read of the free Futurama comic that was given to the attendees. The comic itself is about the crew's experience with cancellation, reruns, and such. It's one of the most postmodern things you can experience right now.
I would've gone to Comic Con for this reason alone but the event is progressively becoming more inaccessible. With the overcrowding, tickets unavailable at the door, and steep prices, Comic Con might well be on its way to becoming the next E3. By that, I mean getting so wild and exclusive that the geek energies within cause it to implode and sink into the ocean. Think that final scene in Spider-Man 2 but with thousands of physically and socially awkward people.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Morbo Demands You Watch The Following
Monday, July 30, 2007
Hulk Franchise Getting Fresh Coat Of Green Paint
This image was released at Comic-Con, to build hype for the upcoming Incredible Hulk remake starring Ed Norton. I know that "reimagining" a superhero movie franchise is all the rage these days. It worked for Batman and Superman - but isn't there a minimum time frame required before you completely scrap the last movie and start all over? I think we can all agree that the last Hulk movie sucked pretty bad. Nobody is arguing with that. But seriously, it feels like it just came out yesterday. Are they even allowed to do that? Did they call do-over on Hulk?
If Batman Begins is any indication of what's to come, we might be seeing a darker, moodier Hulk movie with more character-driven plot and a lot less nipple action. Also, with Ed Norton as the lead, I can't get the image of Ol' Green Jeans providing some brutal curb-biting justice, American History X-style. But I guess that's too much to hope for.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Jasman Toys Scores A Running Riot
News from the San Diego Comic Con reveals that Jasman Toys will be releasing Covenant weapons in conjunction with the arrival of Halo 3 in October. Their press release says:
For every Halo™ fan that has fantasized about being part of the action, Jasman Toys introduces its line of Halo 3 Covenant Weapons with Laser Pursuit technology! Bring all the action of the popular video game to life with these full-size replica weapons that perform just like the ones in the game: vibration, sounds, lights and recoil, all packaged into heavy metal and plastic bodies. These realistic weapons even offer the most intricate features; when the Plasma Rifle “overheats,” the heat exchange flanges pop open! An infrared beam and target register hits on an LCD counter, allowing you to recreate the game with friends; capture the flag, team battle, free-for-all. The possibilities are endless! Find out who has what it takes to be Master Chief.
Now this is what I'm talking about. While it might seem a bit steep with the plasma rifle going for $120 and the plasma pistol going for $80, you gotta realize how much better a game of laser tag is when compared to playing against people online. Just try imagining how things like pistol whipping someone from behind or corpse humping translates to real life. And like, you can use a bowling ball for Assault. And for vehicles, you can try using a jeep as a Warthog. And instead of using the laser features, you rig the weapons to fire off airsoft pellets. I'm just saying, the possibility of physical injury makes any game infinitely more intense. Read More......
Friday, July 27, 2007
Say Hello To My Little Friend
Times have been tough for a street performer such as myself. What with living statues, break dancing children, and Britney Spears all competing for everyone's attention, I needed something special to spice up my "Political Reviolution" violin act. Thank God for Wei Lieh Lee. With this little baby, people will start taking me seriously.
Although, it still doesn't do much considering the blazing summer weather. I'm thinking of taking my act over to a place with higher foot traffic and air conditioning. Someplace like the mall or even better, the airport. Come see me play the violin! I'll be wearing sunglasses and a black trench coat!
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Spreading The Message Of Okkusenman
Anyone that's played the Megaman series can tell you how great the music is. The music from Megaman 2's Dr. Wily Stage 1 is one of the more popular songs used for remixing. It's hard to say if anyone expected that the song would reach further levels of awesomeness by simply adding lyrics. That's how Okkusenman was created and unleashed upon an unsuspecting Japan. The lyrics are basically about childhood memories and getting courage from Ultraman. That's not what really matters.
Like most memes, what makes Okkusenman so great are the many different incarnations that continue to appear. Aside from the typical karaoke style, there are renditions done in death metal, with a choir and orchestra, and even the Mario Paint musical application. The live performances are especially awesome considering how one lead singer went all out by wearing a Megaman costume. My personal favorite would have to be the rendition done by these women. Then again, I have a thing for hot Asian women singing catchy tunes. It's too bad that the only people in the United States that try adding new lyrics to already rocking instrumentals are "artists" like Diddy and Will Smith. At least they aren't butchering the songs of our childhood cartoons and videogames.
Credit needs to be given to Shawn over at Digital Monkey Box for doing extensive research on Okkusenman over the past year.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Child Neglect Bridges Gap Between Jocks And Nerds
Jocks and nerds may not be so different after all. A pair of hardcore Green Bay Packers fans locked their 7-year-old boy in his room with a loaf of bread, peanut butter, jelly, and a bucket to use as a bathroom while they went to a local casino to watch Packers games. The kid would be responsible for cleaning the bucket. Not to be outdone by the sports nuts, another pair of parents neglected their 22-month-old son and 11-month-old daughter to the point of near death. The children were suffering from infection, dehydration, starvation, and muscular atrophy. The parents were evidently too distracted while playing Dungeons and Dragons online to properly care for their kids.
Aside from their dedication to child neglect, the parents do share some other interesting tidbits. Let's start with the football fanatics:
Hardrath's sister estimated after the hearing that the couple has acquired close to $1 million worth of Packers stuff over the years.
And now the gamers:
The couple reportedly spent a $50,000 inheritance on computer equipment and a plasma television.
These people may be morally bankrupt, but they aren't exactly poor. I'd like to think that because they're a little rich, they would be less inclined to sell their children in order to gain more money to spend on their respective hobbies. But then again, they'd probably eat their kids so they wouldn't have to waste precious dollars on groceries. Read More......
Monday, July 23, 2007
Kelly Brook Is Hotter Than You
As if women didn't have enough reasons to be ashamed of their bodies, The Mirror came out with an article that names Kelly Brook as the living embodiment of natural beauty. The article even lists her attributes along with the scientific reasoning as to why they make her perfect:
THE HAIR
Kelly has been blessed with naturally long, thick chestnut curls. Hair extensions are definitely not required. Shiny locks have long been a marker of health and therefore make a woman instantly more attractive to men.
THE FACE
Dr Ben Jones of Aberdeen University's Face Laboratory said: "Men from all cultures are drawn to a babyish face with big eyes and arched eyebrows which seem consistent with high oestrogen levels." Kelly ticks all the boxes.
THE BOOBS
Her 34E bust has no need of a silicone boost. But there are plenty of women who would kill for such curves...or at least pay a plastic surgeon to get them. One, Lisa Sacks says many of her clients beg her for boobs just like Kelly's.
THE WAIST
"Super-beautiful" women have waists a third smaller than their hips and three-quarters their bust measurement, say researchers at the University of Gdansk in Poland. There's no doubt, Kelly really shapes up in this area.
THE HIPS
Researchers at the University of Texas say the perfect woman's hip to waist ratio is 0.7 - her exact measurements. And no fellas, we don't know how you can get a job in the lucky depar tment where they carry out such studies.
THE LEGS
At 5ft 8in tall she has longer pins than the average woman which makes her, according to experts at the University of Gdansk, more beautiful. These guys clearly know their stuff.
While I do agree with Kelly Brook's sex appeal, this research is missing some vital statistics. If you were to look for an example of the perfect physical specimen, you might as well go all out on the research. How long is her tongue? Where is she pierced? Does her skin bruise easily from physical activities like spanking? How does she look when when wet? How about covered in honey? Bent over? Upside down? Or most importantly, the morning after in bed? These questions need to be answered and I'm more than willing to volunteer my services to find out. Read More......
Saturday, July 21, 2007
What Did The Five Fingers Say To The Face?
Say hello to Rose and Camellia. It's a flash game where the objective is to slap the taste out of your opponent's mouth. I have no idea why since the text is in Japanese but I don't really care. The controls are simple enough. You drag the attack and evade buttons in an arc across the screen. Time it properly, and you're well on your way to being the queen bitch of this manor. I can't stop playing this game. It's like Punch-Out, but better. Now if only the Japanese can make a game that's based around getting kicked in the nuts. Oh wait, they did.
Japanese Game Show - Kicked In The Nuts - The best home videos are here
Friday, July 20, 2007
Gunbound Gangsters Bound For Jail
To many gamers around the world, Gunbound is simply a turn based shooting game. But for the top scorer, it wasn't all fun and games. The player, a native of Brazil, had his life threatened by a local gang. After luring him out to a planned date, the gang held the Gunbound player up at gunpoint in order to steal his account, which would then be sold to the highest bidder. Unfortunately for the gang, they were arrested before they could reach their mission objective. They forgot that crime doesn't pay. For these Brazilian punks, it's going to be game over.
So how were these criminals caught? I believe it had something to do with this:
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Lia Elminated From Top Chef
The #1 Cooking show on TV just lost another contestant. In this weeks episode, the contestants were asked to to create a dish for the cast and crew of a telenovela, a Mexican soap opera. Though most dishes were spicy and flavorful, Lia tried to get crazy and do a salmon fillet on a polenta. Turns out that not only is this not a Mexican dish, it was also gross. So long Lia, we shall miss you!
In good news, our winner was Howie with a braised pork dish served with an onion salsa. Even though he won this week, he gave his prize to Joey, thinking that Joey's dish was truly the best one of the day. The prize was only a bottle of wine but for all of us alcoholics...a bottle of wine is quite an awesome prize. :) This loss comes a mere week after losing the cutest contestant ever on Top Chef. If anyone responsible for the show is reading this...bring back Camille!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Harry Potter In The Chamber Of The BitTorrent
I actually knew some friends who were placing bets on how soon the final Harry Potter book was going to be leaked onto the Internet. No one was naïve enough to believe that it would survive until its official release date – we knew what age we lived in, and knew that someone out there would find a way to leak it.
Stuff like this simultaneously makes me a little bit happy and then very sad. Happy, because I know that the Internet is such a resource that I can always find what I need. Sad, because I hate the feeling of things being spoiled. And the second thing that occurs right after things like this happen is that some doosh-nozzle goes around and makes it a personal mission to spoil the book for everyone possible. Does everybody remember the YouTube video of the guy driving past the line waiting for the previous Harry Potter book and screaming out the window a massive spoiler for the book, since he had found it out online? Stuff like that saddens me.
I suppose it may have been a bit hypocritical for me to use lines like “we knew what age we lived in,” but still feel remorse over things like this. The world will always be filled with assholes, and the Internet gives them so many opportunities to flex their sphincters.
My only request is that if you do read the book before its official release date, keep it to yourself. Don’t be a dick.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Scion The Sheeple Slayer
I forgot to mention Toyota's new Scion commercial when I went to go watch "Transformers." All the buzz over the movie itself and the Cloverfield trailer overshadowed this interesting little ad campaign.
In an attempt to make the Scion xD more appealing to the the youth market, ATTIK designed a campaign that channels Tim Burton and combines it with the interactive mayhem of videogames. The Little Deviant site serves as a short narrative game that puts you in the role of the demonic deviants. Your goal is to kill sheeple in various different ways so that you can collect their green blood to use as lubricant at the Scion factory. It's a fun little diversion similar to the games you can find on the Adult Swim website.
So does this make me want to buy a Scion? Not really. As much as I enjoy the idea of ripping apart cartoon sheeple with meat hooks, it doesn't change the fact that the Scion still looks like something only a pansy would drive.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Anime Expo Day 2
I arrived on the Sunday of Anime Expo, determined to explore artists' alley and find something of great interest there. It didn't take long.
A print caught my eye; it was Yomi from Azumanga Daioh being woken up, surprisedly, by the Burger King. Nice. I flipped through an artbook to find a print of Osaka from Azumanga Daioh giving the Canadian Destroyer to Chiyo, and Osaka dressed as AJ Styles. Somehow he had managed to meld pro wrestling and anime well. I bought all three prints, and proceeded to take a video of the artist. You can find his work at dragonshock.com and vectorstudios.com.
There was another wing of artists alley that housed all Japanese artists. I heard they came from some technical college. Their stuff was ridiculously leaps and bounds above the people they were sitting next to.
At 11 AM, I went to the DrMaster panel. DrMaster is notable for publishing the King of Fighters Taiwanese graphic novel in America. They also do other Taiwanese stuff, and manga like Iron Wok Jan. I wanted to see what they could tell me about any upcoming King of Fighters projects.
Within five minutes, it was clear these people had no idea what they were talking about. Not only could they not pronounce ANY of the author's names (I can forgive the inability to pronounce someone's name if they are foreign in most cases, but THEY ARE TRYING TO SELL SOMEONE'S FUCKING WORK HERE), but THEY DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SOME OF THE BOOKS WERE ABOUT.
Let me repeat that. This is the industry's most prominent tradeshow.
THEY DID NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WERE SELLING.
There were about 25 or so people at this panel, and 5 of them were furiously taking notes, presumably for anime news websites.
After that, I went to the Shin Chan screening, where the English voice actors were going to do a short QA. Of course, the English voice actors no-showed, continuing the theme of the night.
The Atlus USA panel was full when I went to it, which was the last event I was interested in.
All in all, it's not an event I could recommend. Everything was too spread out, and there was no sense of camaraderie. Well, at the very least, there was some neat cosplay.
And this one's for you, Torrin.
Read More......
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Steven Seagal Readies To Kick Some More Ass
The Associated Press has a story about how Steven Seagal is suing his former law firm for charging him excessive fees. The article says:
Nasso produced films with Seagal in the 1990s and was accused of trying to extort money from the actor after they dissolved their partnership, according to the suit.
Loeb & Loeb charged Seagal nearly $1.1 million, according to the court papers, filed Thursday.
Seagal paid about $500,000 but became skeptical and obtained a legal audit that determined he was "substantially overcharged," according to the lawsuit. Seagal is seeking at least $450,000 in general damages.
Steven Seagal? Extortion? Dissolved partnership? Large amounts of money? This has "action movie" written all over it. The only thing missing is a wise-cracking, yet street tough partner for Seagal. I'm thinking Xzibit. It can be called "Hard Knock Agency" and culminate in an epic courtroom brawl with the duo fighting back to back against an army of lawyers, security, judges, jury, and the sexy femme fatale stenographer played by Tia Carrere. Seagal and Xzibit lose and go to jail, but the movie ends with a shot of the two of them giving each other approving nods as they get in fighting positions and start a prison riot. Read More......
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Arcanna Likes To Keep Possibilities Open
Did I say possibilities? I meant legs. Just about every panel she's appeared in so far in the "Ultimate Power" miniseries has been while in the good ol' spread eagle position. I guess it's to be expected in a comic that's "drawn" by Greg Land. Issue #6 finally puts a stop to that, although the possibilities do remain open as to how it actually happened.
I mean really, I don't even understand how two women can make love. I mean unless they kinda just scissor or something.
Friday, July 13, 2007
GTA Fights War On Terror With Words
WKTT Talk Radio, one of the new radio stations appearing in the latest GTA, is looking for people to phone-in and leave their thoughts about various topics. The WKTT Radio site says:
Call the station right now at 212-360-2368 and tell us what you think is wrong with Liberty City, American, Liberals, or your health. Tell the host you love the show. He likes that.
I hope someone finds a subtle way to make fun of Jack Thompson or any of those other bleeding heart liberals that are trying to link videogame violence with real life violence. That line of thinking gets me so mad that I sometimes black out. I always end up waking in front of some retirement home with what looks like red corn syrup on my hands. Since I don't actually get hurt by these incidents, I think nothing more of them. What was I saying again? Oh yeah, GTA is awesome. Read More......
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Marc Owens Realistically Simulates Videogames In Real Life
This is the Avatar Machine. Marc Owens, its designer, describes his work as:
The virtual communities created by online games have provided us with a new medium for social interaction and communication. Avatar Machine is a system which replicates the aesthetics and visuals of third person gaming, allowing the user to view themselves as a virtual character in real space via a head mounted interface. The system potentially allows for a diminished sense of social responsibility, and could lead the user to demonstrate behaviors normally reserved for the gaming environment.
I've gotta hand it to him. He faithfully recreates the feel of third person perspective in videogames. Just check out the way the whole body has to turn to change the field of view. With the camera dangling several feet behind the user, it can also simulate the way game cameras snag on nearby structures. I bet wearing that cushioned body suit also gives the user a false sense of protection from physical harm. Add some fun little toys like an aluminum bat or an airsoft gun and before you know it, you're killing hobos and corpse humping their lifeless faces. Read More......
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Resident Evil Back In Black
The Resident Evil 5 trailer shown at E3 earlier this week revealed even more details about the game. And frankly, it wouldn't be a Resident Evil game if it didn't contain opportunities for (un-?)intentional racism. Not to be outdone by the portrayal of the Spanish in part 4, this installment drops the player off in a war torn African nation. Take some "Black Hawk Down," mix with some "28 Days Later," and you've got yourself the next chapter of survival horror. You can watch the trailer here. A longer version is scheduled to come out later this month.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
"Greek" And Why All Television Shows About College Fail
Last night was the premiere of ABC Family's "Greek." Minutes into the show, I started to get some deja vu. I had seen this type of programming before: new kid in a new setting, a fight with the arrogant and established pretty face, popularity contests, running for president of an organization, a house party, etc. It's the same type of story you'd find in "Mean Girls," "The O.C." or "Dawson's Creek." And that's exactly what "Greek" is. It's nothing more than a high school drama that happens to be set in college. Rather than trash "Greek" for that, I give the writers credit for coming up with a slightly innovative approach to a college show.
You see, all television shows about college are destined to fail. The main problem is maintaining audience interest. There are three kinds of people in the potential audience:
1) Those that plan on going to college
2) Those that haven't gone or have no plans to go to college
3) Those that are currently attending or have already been in college.
How can a college show entertain any of these people?
The first group is the easiest demographic. They're curious about the college lifestyle and will accept any depiction of drama and debauchery. But given the content constraints of television, let alone that "Greek" is on ABC Family, this depiction will be watered down. This group will eventually wise up and realize that they can find better material in R-rated and even PG-13-rated college movies.
The second group is similar to the first group in that they have no experience of the college lifestyle. However, they're less likely to connect with the show because they inherently have less interest about college. They'll be watching for other reasons, like character relationships. They'll realize that they can find the same thing in a program with a more interesting hook to the individual, like a police or hospital show.
The third group is the trickiest and most critical. They are able to watch the show and compare it to their own experiences. They are able to recognize the flaws of using college as the premise for a show. College campuses are fairly unique, especially when compared to the nostalgic view of the standardized public high school. Concepts that make college enjoyable, like independence and social networking, are hard to capture on a show. The common ground individuals in this demographic will share have to do with final exams and roommates. And those aren't the most interesting of topics to watch on television. They will react like the other two groups by finding better material in other movies and genres.
This is a losing battle for any show. Unfortunately, "Greek" makes it even more difficult by limiting their audience to fans of teen drama. I'll watch a couple more episodes before giving the show a real review. But given examples set by shows like "Saved by the Bell: The College Years," "Undeclared," and "Undergrads," I doubt "Greek" will last long enough for me to do so. At least the characters look like college students.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Good News, Everyone
Fans of Futurama won't have to wait until 2008 to get a glimpse at the upcoming episodes slated to air on Comedy Central. The San Diego Comic-Con released its full programming schedule, which revealed this golden nugget:
Matt Groening is proud to announce the long-awaited return of the animated sci-fi comedy classic Futurama! Matt and executive producer David X. Cohen will be on the dais, accompanied by writer Ken Keeler, animation directors Peter Avanzino and Dwayne Carey-Hill, and for the first time together on stage in any universe, actors Billy West (Fry), Katey Sagal (Leela), John DiMaggio (Bender), and Maurice LaMarche (Kif Kroker)! The cast and crew will entertain your questions and present a sneak peek at Bender’s Big Score! in glorious wide-screen format! Moderated by Bill Morrison.
One scene has Fry complaining to his crewmates about how all good shows on television get cancelled. Leela then turns on the TV and points out that Fox has been running new episodes of the Simpsons nonstop for more than a thousand years. Fry counters by saying that the current season is composed only of clip shows running different combinations of shots spliced from the Simpsons' 999-year-long televised history, its feature films, music videos, Troy McClure and Ralph spin-offs, and commercials for Butterfinger, CC Lemon, KFC, Mastercard, Slurm, and Fishy Joe's.
Nah, I'm just joshing ya. But wouldn't that be funny if it were true? Anyway, here's more art from Space Coyote:
Read More......