Worst. Burglary. Ever.

Probably not the worst, but certainly one of the lamest heists a criminal could pull. Ralph's Comic Corner in Ventura, California was robbed Tuesday morning by burglars that came through the store's ceiling. At least the manager knows that this is more of a nuisance than an actual crime. Mike Sterling says:

We were lucky with this latest robbery, for the most part...according to the alarm company records, about one minute elapsed between the motion detector picking up something moving in the store and registering the opening of the back door. So the burglar (or burglars - who knows?) spent one panicked minute running around our shop in the dark, burglar alarm blaring, searching through the glass cases for something to take until they decided on Witchblade, Spawn, some variant covers, and a few other recent books.

So instead of emptying the register, grabbing the rare comics collection, or even taking any of the overpriced comic related merchandise the burglar(s) settled for the "cool" looking comics. Seriously now, Witchblade? Spawn? Since when have those properties been popular enough to warrant burglary? I estimate the potential loot to be worth less than a hundred dollars. And that's if the criminal(s) aren't dumb enough to try selling the stuff back to the same store. They probably could've made more by roughing up some middle school kids for their money.

This really should come as no surprise for those familiar with how lame Ventura county is. You see, Ventura is populated by people like former Iowa residents and creepy middle aged men that make out with fourteen year olds at a Bloodhound Gang concert. It's only a matter of time before these geniuses are caught. And where they're going, they'll soon be turned into collector's items.

(cue music)